PoisonPoison was one of those bands that all the chicks loved, and all the guys pretended to hate.  In their prime, Poison was loathed just as much as they were loved.  They were our generation’s Nickleback!

Poison’s best songs were almost exclusively the ones they released as singles.  That is to say, Poison’s albums weren’t exactly overflowing with deep tracks.  Open Up And Say… Ahh!, Poison’s second LP, contained four legitimate hits in Every Rose Has Its Thorn, Fallen Angel, Nothin’ But A Good Time, and Your Mama Don’t Dance.  These are four of the best five tracks on the album.  The fifth, in my opinion, would be Love On The Rocks.  The worst?  Look But You Can’t Touch.  Yikes!  Yes, Poison were easy to hate.  But their music was fun, stupid, and unapologetically glam.  They weren’t trying to write the next Dark Side Of The Moon or Master Of Puppets — and Lord knows they didn’t — they just wanted to party and get laid.  Is that so wrong?

These days, Brett Michaels continues to play Every Rose Has Its Thorn to anyone who will listen, in an attempt to stay relevant.  Why he tries, I have no idea.  He is beyond shameless with his pouty lips, eyeliner, and pathetic wig.  It is sad what it has come to for ol’ Brett, but it’s not like Poison had a legacy to protect.

Do I hate Poison?  Hell no.  In fact, I love the song Fallen Angel more than I care to admit.  And I like Open Up And Say… Ahh! quite a bit, actually.  Hey, it ain’t nothin’ but a good time, so why should I f*cking resist?  My score: A-

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