In a shocking turn of events, Judas Priest changed their image and their sound in a (pathetic) attempt to improve sales. Sure, they’ll tell ya that they were pushing the boundaries of heavy metal and experimenting with new sounds, but once you hear these lyrics you know it’s all bullshit. If they were truly experimenting (synth guitars, processed drums, Halford’s skullet), then why write such adolescent, pandering, idiotic lyrics? The answer: because Turbo is a f*cking SELLOUT you idiot! This was Judas Priest trying to write lyrics like Twisted Sister (but far, far, FAR worse), and copying a drum sound from new wave, or that Sunglasses At Night song. Call a spade a spade boys, admit you sold your soul and we can move on.
Are they using a drum machine on this album? Anyone know? Sounds like it. Absolute crap.
But guess what? Even though Turbo is a tragic abortion of an album as far as Judas Priest goes, if this were some obscure album by some obscure band (let’s call them Beaver Tits for argument sake) then I would probably listen with a big dumb smile on my face and be telling you that Beaver Tits was a guilty pleasure o’ mine. I’d be telling you how I like rockin’ out to that infectious pre-chorus on Hot For Love, or dreaming of being Knight Rider while cruising in my ’85 Firebird to Turbo Lover. But for Judas f*cking Priest to pull this shit? That’s just messed up dude. I can’t separate the music from how ridiculously cold and calculating Priest were with this album. How reactionary they were to passing trends. It’s sad to see a once great band suck the corporate teat like this. And yet I listen and (I’m ashamed to say…) sometimes even ENJOY it. Should I hate myself? Because I do. Just what the hell am I suppose to do with this album? I’m not sure if I should defecate on it or crank it to eleven. My score: C