Some of you may remember Kane Roberts as the musclebound guitarist for Alice Cooper’s band in the mid eighties. He looked just like Rambo and toted around a custom-made M-60 machine gun guitar. (Only in the 80’s, eh?) Well, Kane was able to parlay that bit of notoriety into a record deal with MCA. His first album was this self-titled nugget. The cover, as you can plainly see, is cheese city. But the music itself may surprise you. Yes, Roberts was able to weave a delicate tapestry of sounds on this album — molding his euphonious ideas into a cohesive work of art that was at once soul crushing and intellectually stimulating. One marvels at the beauty Roberts created — crafting this rich opus in much the same way he crafted his symmetrically chiseled frame. Behold, for to listen to Kane Roberts is to fall headlong into a world of mystery and splendor!
I’m just kidding. It’s crap. My score: D